


Turn It Off

by under_the_blue_moonlight



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Book of Mormon AU, M/M, logan is a gay disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24183862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/under_the_blue_moonlight/pseuds/under_the_blue_moonlight
Summary: Elder Logan Berry is not homosexual, no matter what his newly assigned mission partner, Elder Janus Ceitful, might say. Definitely not. He is a good Mormon, one of the best, and will prove it by converting the two brothers in the neighbourhood who are ‘unconvertable’.It totally won’t backfire in any way.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 14
Kudos: 65





	Turn It Off

“Do you have any idea where they’re sending you, Elder Price?”

“Well, of course we don’t really have final say over where we get sent, but I have been praying to be sent to my favourite place in the whole world...”

Logan Berry couldn’t help but stare at Elder Price, pure admiration in his eyes, as he responded, “Well, if you prayed for a location, I’m sure Heavenly Father will make it happen. You’re like the most smartest, best, most deserving Elder the centre’s ever seen...”

It was true. Logan had lived his whole life labelled as the second best. His parents had always said to him he should be more like that Elder Price. But no... Logan knew he could never compare... Elder Price was destined to do something incredible. He was just so perfect, wonderful, handso-

_No! Elder Berry, this is exactly why you aren’t as good as Elder Price! Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off..._

“Elders! Form a line and step forward when your name is called!”

All the Elders quickly did so, Logan feeling his heart thudding in his chest as he found himself stood beside Elder Price. Imagine if they were put together as mission companions! Logan could finally learn from him, and make his parents proud. He hardly payed attention as the other Elders were put in pairs, now daydreaming about he and Elder Price going away together...

“Elder Price!”

“Yes sir!”

_Please pick me, please say me..._

”Your brother will be...”

_Please please please!_

“Elder Cunningham!”

Logan’s heart sunk. But... wouldn’t it make sense the best two Mormons would be put together? Then they’d be an unstoppable force, converting all the people in... where was Elder Price going?

“Uganda!”

Oh. Now Logan couldn’t help but feel sorry for Price. He knew that it was the other Elder’s dream to go to Orlando. Not to mention, his mission companion didn’t exactly seem very... well... sensible and focused. 

“Elder Berry!”

Logan perked up upon hearing his name, and stepped forward, straightening his tie. “Yes, sir.”

“Your mission companion will be... Elder Ceitful!”

Logan’s shoulder’s slumped, face paling. Oh no.

Elder Janus Ceitful was... well, according to Elder Ceitful himself, he did not align himself with the Mormon faith. In fact, he despised it. He’d rant about it being ‘homophobic’ and ‘racist’ and ‘a cult’. Apparently, he was only in the church because his parents forced him to be, and if he tried to leave the faith, his parents said they’d kick him out and cut him off, leaving him homeless and near broke. He claimed that the second he had a stable job and his own place to live, he was never coming to the church again.

So, in short, he would be no help to Logan on the mission.

Just great.

“And your location is... Orlando!”

They were going to Orlando? Logan knew a lot about Orlando, as it was where Elder Price always talked about wishing to go. He felt even worse now. He was living, no, _stealing_ Elder Price’s dream...

-

Logan was extremely close to losing it.

He was waiting in the airport at the gate for his flight. His parents had long since left after saying their goodbyes, so now he was alone.

Alone with Elder Ceitful.

“I really don’t get how you can happily go along with this shit,” the Elder in question said, flicking through his copy of the Book of Mormon. “It is the single most disgusting thing I’ve ever read - and I had a friend in high school who wrote and then forced me to read a lot of kinky shit.”

This. Logan was going to have to deal with this for two years.

“Is it because you like Kevin? Is that the only reason you go along with it, to impress him? Because, I’m sorry to tell you, but the Mormon faith isn’t that fond of the homosexual lifestyle. I don’t think that plan is going to-“

“What?! I-I do not have feelings for Elder Price!”

“Please, the way you stare at him tells me all I need to know. You have a crush.”

“I am straight! I like women, just as Heavenly Father intended...”

“Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that...”

Two. Hecking. Years.

-

Logan and Elder Ceitful had arrived in Florida, and were currently being given a tour of the local area by their District Leader and his companion. Elder Foster was very bubbly, joy seeming to never leave his light blue eyes as he pointed out all the houses around, saying which had been converted and which still needed to be. His partner, Elder Picani, was a little more subdued, but still bright and talkative. As they walked around, Elder Ceitful was barely paying attention. It didn’t matter, though, Logan was listening for the two of them, and had a notebook out, taking notes on which households needed to be converted.

As they walked around, Logan noticed something. He frowned, before looking up to his District Leader. “Elder Foster?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“You missed out Number 46. 45 has been converted, 47 hasn’t, but you didn’t tell us about 46.”

Elder Foster and Elder Picani froze, sharing grave looks, before the former responded. “They haven’t been. But we don’t talk about that house. We don’t visit it.”

“What? Why?”

“Two brothers live at that house, and they’re unconvertable,” Elder Picani said. “The first one is bad enough. He lives a very openly homosexual lifestyle, refusing to talk to us because of it. When he opens the door to us, he just says ‘sorry, I’m a lifelong gay’, before shutting the door in our faces. And the other...”

“He’s the devil incarnate,” Elder Foster finished.

“What?” Logan raised an eyebrow in confusion while Elder Ceitful’s attention was caught by the conversation.

“He’s horrible. The first time we tried to talk to him, he said ‘I’m sorry, I’m currently busy sucking Satan’s... thingy’. Except he didn’t say ‘thingy’. Since then, he’s done all sorts of horrendous things. Told horrifying stories to the Elders, shown them graphic images and videos, and other even more disgusting things. Eventually, we had no choice but to give up. I hate to admit it, but I doubt he’ll ever be able to find salvation.”

Elder Ceitful smirked. “I like the sound of this guy.”

Meanwhile, Logan’s eyes were shining. This was it. This was how he showed he was just as great, just as incredible as Elder Price. This was how he would make his parents proud.

He, Elder Logan Berry, was going to convert the unconvertable.

-

The next day, after a hearty breakfast, a warm shower, and a little rehearsing his script to himself in the mirror, Logan found himself walking up to the door of the ‘unconvertable brothers’ at house number 46. Elder Ceitful trudged behind him. “You know this is never going to work, right?”

“Shush. I want you to not say anything, alright?” Logan hissed to him. “This is very important to me, and I will not have you screw it up.”

“Sure. It’ll be more fun to watch you completely and utterly fail.”

Logan huffed, rolling his eyes, before turning to the door. He knocked, putting on a friendly joyful smile. After a few seconds, the door opened.

“Hello! My name is Elder Berry, and I would like to share with you the-”

He was interrupted by a wolf whistle. “Well, would you look at this... They’ve sent the cutest guy they have to try and tempt me to convert, have they?”

Logan’s face burned light pink, and he looked up at the man at the door. And then his face burned dark red.

The man had green eyes that shone like emeralds in the sunlight, tanned skin, brown hair that was shown to have a slight hint of red in it when the light caught it. The only exception was a silver streak dyed in his fringe. He had a moustache that curled up at the ends that, though it seemed to be something an over-the-top cartoon villain would wear, suited him perfectly. He was tall, staring down at Logan with a sort of hungry lust in his eyes. He was wearing a crop top and rather tight shorts which showed off his toned physique.

Logan swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat, the mantra he had been taught since he was 13 repeating in his head. _Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off..._

Both the man in the doorway and Elder Ceitful smirked, the latter leaning over to Logan. “What was that you told me yesterday? ‘I like women, just as Heavenly Father intended’?”

Logan wanted to glare at him, but was still struck by the beauty of the stranger. After a pause, he did the only thing he could think of:

Run away.

As he left, he heard the two still at the door exchange a greeting.

“Jan? Is that you? No way!”

“Hey, Remus. It’s been a while.”

“No shit! Come on in, we have so much we need to catch up on! And I have a few new fanfics I need proof read!”

“Oh, I wish I could, but I’m required to stay with my mission companion at all times. Maybe you should invite us both in.”

Logan skidded to a stop, turning to his companion. “Don’t you dare!!!”

The man, Remus, grinned. “Why of course you can both come in!” He retreated back into his house, and Elder Ceitful followed, before pausing and turning to Logan.

“Come on, Elder Berry! You wouldn’t want to break the rules, would you?”

Logan hesitated. These thoughts that he had around Remus were unholy... but breaking mission rules was unholy too! He growled in annoyance, looking to his companion, who was giving him a sickly sweet and incredibly faux smile. 

Logan couldn’t win, could he?

He huffed before returning to the house, and unwillingly followed Elder Ceitful inside.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you want more. I wrote this as a oneshot, but maybe I'll continue if enough people want me to


End file.
